The Half-Brother
by HalosandHeroes
Summary: Jane knew her dad had remarried. She just never expected to get a little brother out of the deal. Especially one as sweet as Peter Parker...
1. Chapter 1

**Just a little sumthin' sumthin' that's been floating about in my head...**

Jane looked down at the email, shaking hands gripping the coffee mug. Darcy let out a small whistle somewhere behind her.

_If you're getting this, it means I'm dead, your stepmother is dead, and her family is as well. You have a half-brother, Jane. You're his only remaining family now… Take good care of him._

She was numb. Like ice had spread from the hand that grasped the phone mere seconds before, crawling slowly up her arm and over her entire body until everything stuttered to a stop. She always knew Richard was, well, a dick, but she never imagined he'd go this far.

"Looks like we're takin' a road trip, huh?" the college student said lowly. "I'll let the Doc know. What's his name anyway?"

"Peter," she told her, mouth like sand, "My little brother's name is Peter Parker."

.

Rain rolled down the windows of the van like tears that had dried days ago. Cancer. His aunt had died of frickin' _cancer_ and hadn't even bothered telling her only living family. His eyes burned, but didn't have the energy or tears to start crying again.

Instead, Peter looked dully at the twenty-something woman in the front. She said her name was Jane Foster - his half sister. If the state hadn't checked it out, he would've been suspicious of some stranger claimed his totally awesome dad was a drifter asshole in his younger days.

"You'll like New Mexico, kid," a man with watery blue eyes and an almost-not-there Scandinavian accent. Dr. Erik Selvig, who apparently was a colleague of Richard Parker back in the day. "Plenty of sunshine and fresh air. Everything a growing boy needs."

The teen smiled weakly, but didn't trust himself to not start bawling if he opened his mouth to reply. All three of the adults seemed fairly nice, but Peter couldn't help but want Aunt May and her warm cookies instead. Or a hug after a rough day with Flash. Or her infectious laugh that filled up the whole apartment. _God_, he missed her laugh.

The girl next to him, Darcy, leaned across the gap with a friendly smile. "I guess you got Mr. Parker's science brain, huh? Well, you'll fit in just fine with the a brainiacs up there." She scooted into the middle seat, hand out with an earbud as offering. "Jane doesn't like driving with music on, so I have all the good stuff loaded up on here."

Slender fingers plucked the proffered item and stuffed it into his right ear, letting the opening wail of Zep III wash all his stress away. Unbeknownst to him, Jane and Darcy were sharing a look of tender love for the kid that had already wormed his way into the hearts of the women. Erik grunted at them, but privately, Peter made him think of his sons when they were younger. Not that he would ever admit it.

So maybe he wasn't over May in the slightest. That was okay though, because nothing could make him forget like a good riff. And truthfully, a little part of him tingled - like a great and life-changing adventure lie just ahead, hurtling towards them at breakneck speeds.

.

_Tony was startled when his kid burst past him for the imposing figure he had planned to introduce the kid to outside of costume. He wasn't hurt for being ignored. He was _not_._

"_Thor!"_

"_Puppy!" the thunder god replied with one of those squinty, round-cheek smiles. "Tis good to see you, little one."_

"'_M not little."_

_Thor smirked knowingly, but didn't protest was Peter clung to him with all four limbs. What in the name of Thor's older sister was going on?!_

.

"Are you going to eat that or just push it around until it gets all mushy?" Jane asked in exasperation. With Peter around, she had two dipolar teens to deal with.

Peter shrugged, but lifted a spoonful of cheerios and slowly brought it to him mouth. In the weeks since his arrival, Peter had steadily come out of his shell, but there were still bad days - and today was shaping up to be on of them.

"Do you need a ride to school?" Erik glanced over his paper. He knew the kid would need a ride, of course, but tried to get Parker's youngest to interact as much as possible with them.

"I guess," he mumbled to his breakfast, eyes shiny. A pause, then, "D'you know today was gonna be her birthday? I was even saving up to take her to an italian joint she loves."

There was no reason to question who he meant.

Darcy sighed, stuffed the rest of her poptart away hastily, and moved to paw through stacks of paper to find the van keys. Erik and Jane probably wanted to talk, and she needed some _air_. "Ten minutes, Pete. Be in the car of walk to school."

Twenty minutes later, Darcy parked the van in a vacant lot off to the side of the school. She fiddled with her hands nervously, trying to think of how to fraise her question. "Listen, Peter… Jane and Erik and I are going out to look at an astral anomaly tonight and I could use some company. Would you like to come along?"

There was a spark of interest and excitement that shown through the grief in his eyes. It must have been a piece of the real kiddo peeking through - she counted it as a win. "Sure! Sounds cool."

It would be good for Peter to get out of the house - er _lab_ \- for something other than the obligatory eight hours of school. And Darcy also got a music buddy out of it as well. _Take that, Jane_!

Peter was too much like his half sister to _not_ get excited about all things weird and science-y. She _knew_ this would work better than that stupid professional cuddle her college friends suggested. Though she probably could have asked somebody majoring in psychology rather than child care.

No matter. Peter looked excited and particularly bouncy and she gently nudged him out of the van and towards the high school. Now she just had to convince Jane that this was a good idea...


	2. Chapter 2

**I love incontinuity. Peter is twelve for the sake of this fic, but he likes to think of himself as a little, fully functioning adult.**

In the end, it wasn't all that hard to convince Jane, albeit reluctantly, to allow Darcy to drag her new little brother out on their nightly jaunt to stare at the stars for a ridiculously long amount of time. Really, Jane wasn't ready to leave the kid alone in the trailer, and she needed both Darcy and Eric to help her gather data. Spatial storms as caused by solar winds weren't going to study themselves! Besides, if she won the bet, Reed would owe her a new radiation spectrometer.

So, she bundled Peter up in a too large jacket that had belonged to one of her ex's, fished a pack of pop tarts out incase he got hungry, and made sure all his homework made it into the van for the time he would inevitably want to kill. The squirt wouldn't stop bouncing around, rattling off _everything_ he'd ever learned about space and periodically stopping to exclaim, proudly, that his older sister was an astrophysicist. It was better than him moping in his cereal, at least.

God. She made _such_ a bad guardian. Distraction was not helping Peter overcome his grief, but Jane didn't know what else to do. Warm, fuzzy emotions weren't always her thing.

Eric was amused, if his smile was anything to go by, as Peter jabbered away and lifted some of the lighter instruments into the back of the van. The kid was just so _cute_ with that dopey smile on his face, hat pushing his slightly too long hair into his eyes so that he had to brush it away every once and awhile. She was going to have a hard time keeping the girls off him in a few years.

"— then she told us that Uranus rotates on its _side_. How come? I didn't think physics worked that way, Dr. Selvig."

"Well, scientists speculate —"

"No," Darcy groaned as she rounded the corner. "I wanted to bring Peter so he could entertain _me_, not get all nerdy with the stargazers."

"Tough nuts. Peter's a little genius, and I have every intention of feeding a hungry mind like his." Eric smiled serenely, shuffling some stuff so that he could get the van's back doors shut. "It's not my fault that the PolySci decided she wanted to intern with a couple of astrophysicists."

"For the last time! I didn't _realize_ that was what I was signing up for!"

Eric hummed. Peter was quickly ushered towards one of the sliding side doors, still chattering away about his theory about Uranus' rotation and the chemical composition of Venus. He shot Jane an amused look before slipping into the shotgun seat.

"Thanks for agreeing to bring him with us, Jane," Darcy said lamely, shuffling about. "I think his little nerd brain could use a chance to see what his big sister does — maybe a chance to connect."

Jane smiled tightly, but couldn't think of a response. Instead, she zipped her jacket and fished the keys out, striding with slightly excited steps toward the van. Darcy shook he head, following.

Peter was already buckled in, fingers fidgeting. He grinned when Darcy plopped herself down next to him and offered one of her earbuds, which he took hesitantly. The kid was a genius, but talk to him about anything outside his forte and he was _hopelessly_ lost; Jane wouldn't admit it, but that's something they both got from Richard Parker.

Darcy wiggled around obnoxiously for a solid thirty seconds before she deemed herself comfortable, nodding at Jane through the rearview mirror. Jane rolled her eyes, ignored Eric's chuckle, and turned the keys in the ignition. The sun was setting, and Jane wanted to be to the site before it got too dark to see — she _hated_ driving, but especially at night. Everyone else probably prefer her to stick to driving in the light with her abysmal skills anyway.

"I'm excited to finally see the actual desert," Petter exclaimed, and processed to launch into a nice long ramble about the geographical causations of various deserts around the word. She couldn't find it in her heart to stop him or tell him that the only reason they were here as opposed to any other place on the planet was that the atmosphere in this area of New Mexico was particularly clear and conducive for their research.

Eventually, he ran out of words on the subject and went back to being the shy, quiet boy that had first greeted Jane in New York.

Darcy knocked shoulders with him, trying to get him out of his funk and enjoying their little scientific outing. "Is there any little crushes I should know about? You've been here a few weeks; I bet they're crawling all over you."

Blushing, Peter ducked his head and resolutely stared out the window. So. No answer on that front, she guessed. Time to improvise.

"Peter," she called conversationally, "did you know that Dr. Selvig is originally from Sweden? He has some of the craziest childhood stories about growing up — all kinds of mischief only a budding scientist could get into. One time, he stole some of his father's lab equipment and decided that he was going to create a new element."

_That_ had him perking up. "Really?"

Eric smiled fondly, launching into the tale of how he managed to cover his father's lab in slime that smelled repulsively like a fish market when he was just a little younger than Peter himself. It was rather amusing how a kid could make Eric open up more than he had in the entire time she had known him. Peter was truly something special.

She parked the van about thirty minutes outside of town. It was dark in this desert, darker than most places anymore, and perfect for stargazing. So she plopped Peter down on the little pullout desk by their equipment.

"I want you to work on your assignments for twenty minutes. After that, Darcy'll take you up top and you can stargaze; I'm assuming you never got the chance in New York."

He pouted a bit at that and opened his mouth— probably to argue that it was _Friday night_ and homework was a _Sunday afternoon_ thing— Jane just gave him the same look Richard gave her when she was a kid, and her brother reluctantly opened up his Algebra book. God, it was hard to say no to those puppy eyes.

Satisfied, she turned her eyes towards the radar and its pinging storm, vaguely hearing Darcy say something about setting up a blanket fort on top of the van. Eric gave a fond little smile, wedging his way into the minimal space between her and Peter's slouching form.

Speaking of which, her kid brother was squinting terribly at his homework, nose almost buried in it. She added getting Peter's eyes check to her mental to-do list. In the wirl-wind of weeks since they'd pick him up in New York, driven to New Mexico, and settling into some semblance of a routine, Jane hadn't noticed just how bad Peter's eyesight was.

Add that to the growing argument of why Jane Foster is not a Fit Legal Guardian— in capital letters and everything.

She gave up fifteen minutes into Peter just staring at his textbook and drumming his fingers. "Close enough, Pete. You can be done."

With a winningly dorky grin, Peter scrambled from his place to the door. A hurried thanks was thrown over his shoulder as he slipped out. Jane shook her head, stifling a laugh. That kid would be the death of her. Hell, of them all.

About an hour later, Peter peeked his head in, embarrassed.

"What's wrong, Peter?" she asked. Jane glanced over her shoulder to see her brother shifting from foot to foot lightly.

"I uh, I-I gotta take a leak," he forced out, red as a tomato. She sighed, angry at herself for not reminding him to go before they left; Darcy and Eric were used to their long excursions and knew to go before. Pete, though, was new at this, so she resisted the urge to tease him mercilessly about it.

"We're in the desert, all alone," Eric told him lightly, as if this was just another sunny day. Then again, he did raise a house full of boys. "Just walk out about a hundred meters or so and take care of your business."

Peter gaped like a fish. God, he was _such_ a city kid at times.

"Peter," she said kindly, "this isn't the Big Apple. There's no one around to give a crap about a kid peeing in the middle of nowhere."

He cleared his throat a few times, startled, and nodded weakly. "O-oh okay then. I'll be back in a few."

Smiling in encouragement, Jane motioned for her brother to shoo before turning back to the radar. Darcy popped in a few seconds later, rummaging for the pop tarts. And then, the instruments went hay-wire with shrill beeps and dings. Great gusts of wind buffeted the van, kicking up so much dust that they couldn't see out the windshield, and—

Ohgodohgodohgod. Oh _god_.

"PETER!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Yes, this is Thor, the other Avengers will come in due time, Peter will gain more overprotective parents than he knows what to do with. Other than that… we'll just have to see where my muse leads me!**

**Forewarning: There's a panic attack, and another borderline one. Nothing too terribly graphic, but it's still there.**

Peter Parker wouldn't be who he was without the infamous Parker Luck. All he wanted to do was pee, maybe sleep a little, and go get Larb with Ben and May. Well, the last one was a little hard, seeing as Ben had been dead and gone for a year— some angry mugger while he was on his way to pick up Peter from NJHS— and May's… Well. Suffice to say that neither of them would be taking him for Larb anytime soon.

Peter scowled as he stumbled his way in the general direction of his older sister's, and was _that_ a weird thought, screams. The sand was harsh and gritty and stung everywhere it touched, and how dense it was _totally_ made it hard to breathe, but he was _not_ scared. _He was not!_

Only, what if he never found the van? What if they left him like everyone else? Oh god, he was going to _die_ out here! He couldn't breathe — it was too hot and there was stuff everywhere and his big sister and friends left him and there was no water in the desert and he was going to die and why couldn't he _breathe_—

There was a boom of thunder and two things streaking to Earth and, and, and—

Suddenly two strong arms were holding him tight, lending him stability. Peter clutched them shakily, refusing to let his grounder go, and not at all apologetic when his stubby nails dug into skin. He let himself go limp like pasta. _Someone else was here_.

Said someone else was crooning to him in a language he couldn't make out, baritone voice rumbling like a subwoofer. The body around him tensed and Peter whined in protest.

"I need you to trust me, little one. Turn your face to my chest. When the storm has passed, we shall find those who so thoughtlessly let you wander in the wake of the Bifrost."

Peter didn't have the energy to argue. He did as bid, pressing his face into strange clothes and trying to sync his breath to his savior's, but his eyes were so _heavy_ and it was just so easy to shut them.

"Sleep, child. I shan't let harm befall you."

He blinked. "'Kay."

He didn't mean to, honest, but the guy was somehow comfortingly warm and refreshingly cool at the same time, the smell of ozone and mint clinging to his nose as he tried to come down. The chest he was smooshed into was vibrating as his savior sung a song in a gruff, unused voice. It was just so _peaceful_, and Peter was out like a light, the stress of the past month finally floating off his shoulders.

.

It took fifteen minutes for the dust storm to settle enough for Jane to rip the doors open and stumble around, shout for Peter and scan every inch of deserts she could with her flashlight. She dimly heard Darcy and Eric doing the same, but didn't spare them any energy because her kid brother was missing and oh _god_ she was such a terrible sister.

"PETER! Kid, where are you?!"

She headed for the general direction she thought she had seen him go. Jesus, was the kid even alive? They had been at ground zero for an Einstein Rosenbridge— all that radiation… No. Peter was _fine_. Deep breath, Jane; your little brother needs you to be strong right now.

"Pete! _Please_. If you can hear me, say something!" Her hands were shaking.

There was a groan off to her left, and she raced towards it, tears blurring her vision. Peter was hurt, and it was her fault. They were gonna take her kid brother away and she _couldn't _lose the last of her family and—

Peter sat up, blinking, with the wildest bed-head Jane'd ever seen. He looked whole, though, covered by a silky green-and-gold blanket that Jane _swore_ wasn't theirs. But he was alive and giving her this sweet, sheepish smile, and Jane could decide if she wanted to hug or punch her brother first.

"Is it like that every time someone takes a leak in the desert?" he asked weakly.

A strangled sort of laugh-sob escaped her throat as she helped Peter to stand. Jane bundled him in the way-too-nice, minty-smelling blanket and herded the kid back to the van, shouting out to Darcy and Eric that she had found him. Peter was swaying on his feet, blinking to hold back sleep.

She looked at him softly. "Why don't you go have a seat? Maybe catch a few z's… I think we'll be heading back in pretty soon."

"Mmhmm. Sounds good. 'Night, sis." If she wasn't so worried, Jane would have beamed at her brother for finally calling her his sister. As it was, she just wanted Peter is a calm, relaxed state until they can get him checked out.

Peter shuffled himself to the bench in the van, clutching his new blanket to him. Kid was out of it— panic attack if Jane had to guess. At least, she hoped that was all- that she didn't accidentally break her little brother by letting him go out in the desert and take a _leak_ of all things.

_Equipment. Hospital. Glasses. Parent-Teacher Conferences. Find an actual house._

One step at a time, Jane. She could do this. No. She _would_ do this.

"Let's pack the equipment. Fast." She chewed her lip, watching her brother. "I want to get Pete checked out at the hospital as soon as possible. All that sand, and the chance of radiation… L-lets just be on the safe side, yeah?"

They didn't say anything else in the time it took to stow away the instruments, which suited Jane just fine. She didn't want to bother Peter more than absolutely necessary. He looked so small, curled up in that ugly green-and-gold blanket, a bit of drool already leaking out the side of his mouth. How the hell was he _twelve_?!

Jane plopped herself in the driver's seat, shaking hands taking several tries to get the key into the engine, while Eric watched her with sympathy from her right. Dacy was in the back, lightly rubbing Peter's back and humming some trashy pop song, as she was prone to do when stressed.

Deep breath.

Everything was smooth sailing for the first five minutes of the drive. Then, Jane hit the blond psycho in the middle of the road, screaming at the sky.


	4. Chapter 4

**Surprised no one commented on the colors of Peter's 'blanket'...**

**Enjoy!**

...

Pete bolted up with a squeak the second the van made contact with the psycho, and Jane almost felt more guilty about waking up her kid brother than potentially killing a stranger in the middle of the desert. All the same, she hopped out of the driver's seat and heard Eric and Darcy join her after Eric distractedly told Pete to stay put - because apparently, Jane just couldn't get her crap together to be a parental figure tonight. _Why_ did she let Darcy talk her into bringing Pete along with them?

The blond guy - and how the _hell_ was he not injured - groaned and rolled onto his back, blinking distractedly at the night sky. Jane blushed and looked away; the guy wasn't wearing anything but a pair of what looked like leather pants. Darcy, it seemed, didn't have any such reservations and stared unashamedly until Jane smacked her arm with a glare.

"What? He's one smokin' piece of crazy," Dracy stated, as if that solved everything. And for a hormonal twenty-something college student, it probably did.

Jane scowled. "Just… Just go make sure Peter's okay. Erik and I will make sure he's okay."

Darcy sighed dramatically and shuffled back to the door where Pete's little head was peaking out of every few seconds. She grumbled the whole way about not getting to use her taser. She'd bought the thing a few weeks ago and wanted to test it out ever since, much to Jane's chargerine.

Once the kids were safely at a distance, Jane squatted down and lightly poke the guy's shoulders. Maybe he just really drunk? Dear God, she hoped they weren't unknowingly helping some kind of axe-wielding looney.

"Hey. Hey, mister. You okay." _Please don't kill me. I can't leave Pete in Darcy's hands by himself..._

A pair of shockingly blue, confused eyes slid to meet hers. "Have you seen a child, by chance?"

Jane blinked, taken aback, while Erik made a weird choking sound on his other side - it probably would've been a laugh if the situation wasn't so tense. "What?"

"A child," the guy groaned as he moved to sit up. "His guardians seemed to have rather recklessly let the poor tike wander this wasteland alone at night. I was going to care for him until suitable carers could be found, but he was not there when I returned from scouting the terrain, and Heimdal refuses to reveal his location to me. Have you seen a young boy? He rather looks like a puppy."

Her hands shook. This guy had seen her baby brother, had touched him, wanted to _take her only blood family from her_.

"Listen, mate. The kid's fine - we're taking him to the hospital. Are you okay? Are you injured?" Eric, bless his soul, always seemed to know just how to take control of the situation.

Or not.

The stranger surged toward Eric, eyes suddenly blazing like an electrical storm. Two strong hands gripped Eric's shoulders, fingers digging into muscle. He growled, and a low buzzing-hum seemed to fill the air.

"You will release my charge to me this instant, mortal!"

Jane saw red. "_Your_ charge?! Peter is my kid brother! How _dare_ you try and kidnap him, you- you _lunatic_. Try and lay a finger on my baby brother and they won't find your body; I have two PhD's, it won't be difficult."

"You threaten Thor of Asgard, God of Thunder! Step aside, wench, or I shall smite thee and your father to reach that child!"

"Father?!" Eric yelped.

There was a squeak-groan as the van door opened and Jane could hear Darcy shouting for Pete to get back in the van. It was no use, as a patter of feet brought a clearly shaken Peter into the middle of this mess. He glomped onto her side, arms wrapping around her waist, seeking protection.

'Thor's' posture softened the second Peter was in sight, and the man reluctantly let go of Eric's shoulders to face her kid brother with a bright smile. He sat indian style, hands fidgeting like a big toddler. Jesus, how could this guy do such a one-eighty?

Jane was honestly kind jealous that Peter could diffuse a situation so damn quickly. He should be a politician or spokesperson or something when he grew up so that his talent didn't go to waste in some dingy lab.

"Jane?" he asked with wide, frightened eyes. And _now_ she was really pissed. Peter was already shaken from a panic attack, which she doubt the kid fully understood, and now there was a crazy man screaming at the only parental figures left in his life.

"Shhh. It's okay, little brother." She glared at 'Thor'. "This gentleman was just leaving."

The guy blinked. "Why would I do _that_?" He gave Peter a squinty-eyed smile that would've been too damn adorable if the man wasn't trying to kidnap her kid brother. "Hello, little one. Are you better now?"

Peter brightened considerably, scrambling forward to hug 'Thor'. "You! You saved me from that monster!"

Jane yanked Pete back to her before the psycho could react; no way in _hell_ was Peter getting anywhere near him. She made a mental note to talk to Pete later and explain that a sandstorm is _not_ a monster.

It was then that Thor noticed the green-and-gold blanket that Peter was cocooned in. He stiffened and paled dramatically, shaking fingers reaching out to touch the fabric. "Where did you get this, little one?"

Pete tilted his head in confusion. "Dunno. Thought whoever saved me in the storm gave it to me. Why?"

"It belongs to someone very dear to me." Thor cleared his throat, pulling on a determined sort of game face, staring down Jane in a rather imperious manner. "The little one must see a healer. The magic of the Bifrost does strange things to ones so young."

Eric nodded. "The radiation. That's why we are taking Pete to the hospital. At least, we _were_ until you decided to take a nice stroll in front of our van."

Thor blinked. "What's this 'hospital' you speak of?"


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm alive! (Kinda.)**

* * *

They ended up bundling Thor into the back of the van between an uncomfortable Eric and rather vindictive-looking Darcy, who had yet to put down her taser. Peter couldn't bring himself to mind, because Jane had rather distractedly pushed him into the shotgun seat. He _loved_ riding shotgun, even if Darcy was the only one that ever seemed to let him do it. Jane had this weird thing about letting him do anything that could be considered even _mildly_ dangerous, and Eric hated driving.

His new-found blanket was pulled tighter around him in an effort to drive off the lingering sense of cold. It was not _at all_ to hide the way his fingers were trembling like some little _kid's_. It just so happened that this weird green-gold cape was too damn comfortable for its own good.

Oops. Jane would probably wash his mind out with soap if she caught him thinking that way.

"Why were you out in the storm, anyway?" Darcy asked in an effort to dissolve some of the tension. Well, at least he wasn't the only one uncomfortable with the negative energy buzzing between Thor and Jane.

"Storm? That was no storm," Thor mused with some secret glinting in his eyes. "That was the irradiated fallout of the Bifrost's dimensional-warping form of travel."

All three scientists - plus Darcy - turned to give Thor a wide-eyed, startled look. His turned into a grin rather quickly, as he practically vibrated with unasked questions. Peter just couldn't get over how _unreal_ this guy was!

Thor fidgeted uncomfortably before giving a helpless shrug. "What? This is standard knowledge of most children on Asgard. Is it not the same on Midgard?"

Jane blinked, and a quick glance revealed Pete mouthing 'Midgard' with a slight frown on his face, almost as if he was displeased with his lack of knowledge rather than 'Thor's' mental stability. It was just too cute - the way his face scrunched up in thought. She choked down the urge to laugh hysterically over such an innocent thing amidst utter insanity.

Jane needed a drink - preferably stiff, preferably soon.

"Let's just get Peter to the hospital," Eric interjected, his lilting accent becoming more apparent in his stress. "We can worry about who's from where after."

It was a tense thirty minute ride to the hospital in town and Thor _would not take his eyes off her baby brother_. She wanted to punch him. Was it bad she wanted to punch a potentially dangerous man who lived through a worm-hole and knew _way_ too much about the mechanics behind it? Darcy'd say she needed anger management counseling. Again.

Jane bundled Peter, weird blanket and all, through the front doors and to the desk where a rather frazzled-looking nurse sat. Thor was on her heels the entire time.

"Can I help you folks?" the nurse asked tiredly as he dug around for forms to fill out.

"My good healer, my charge was needlessly exposed to the dangerous radiation of the Brifrost's fallout by his thoughtless carers. He must see the lead physician this instant!" Thor banged his fist against the counter to make his point, and Jane winced when it cracked slightly under pressure. Must have hit a weak spot…

The nurse, Williams, just quirked an eyebrow and slid a clipboard to Eric, who calmly accepted it. "Riiiight. Well, y'all need to fill out the forms and we'll have Dr. Sumdac with you momentarily."

Jane blushed. "Excuse my, ah, boyfriend. He's a Shakespeare nut."

Nurse William sighed, shuffling to get another clipboard ready. "It's fine," he said dispassionately. "I've treated weirder when I worked in Nevada."

She just blushed again and laughed as she pinched Thor by his ear and herded Peter toward the little group of seats that Eric and Darcy were settled into. Her mentor was scratching his head, muttering about birthdays and weight and contacts.

"How dare you manhandle a Prince of Asgard!"

She scowled. "Stuff it, wacko. I'd be more than happy to drop you off at a mental ward and never think about this horrible day again, but you know about wormholes and have actually been _through_ one, if I can believe you. So just, just _sit there_. Quietly."

Oh, Jane was _so_ done for the day with hot strangers that fell from the sky.

Thor looked like a kicked puppy, but listened to her, er, _command_ once Peter and his green-and-gold blanket plopped down into the tacky seat next to him. He gave her little brother a happy, squinty-eyed smile, that was _not_ cute. _At all._

"Kid, got any allergies?"

Pete looked up, wide-eyed. "Huh?"

"Peaches," she said automatically. "He can't have peaches or barley."

Well, at least she could do one thing right.

"The little one can never have mead?" Thor demanded, heartbroken. God, he was _such _a drama queen. What the hell even _was_ mead?

"Peter Parker?" a haggard, Indian man in a lab coat asked. He was on the short side, portly, with a warm smile. "I'm Dr. Sumdac; I'm going to take a look at you, if that's alright?"

Pete nodded shyly, hand slipping into hers. Jane swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat and squeezed back. He'd be okay - she wouldn't allow it to be any other way.

Dr. Sumdac led them to an examination room, the walls covered with little cars and planes and pictures of what she thought _might_ be Detroit. A single picture of the doctor and a smiling girl Jane assumed was his daughter hung by the drawn shades.

Pete hopped up on the table when beconned.

"You're lucky, Mr. Parker. I just moved here not too long ago to study cosmic energy in peace; I know what should and shouldn't be there. So let's take a look, eh?"

Several machines Jane couldn't identify were dragged out. Dr. Sumdac scanned Pete over with them, humming when they bleeped and blooped.

"I worked with Dr. Richards for a while after I got out of robotics and into radiation. Very smart man - smart to marry the wonderful Sue Storm before someone came along and snatched her up."

Reed Richards, one of the reasons she wanted to study space in the first place. He had given a lecture at her college back when he was a bright, young genius with radical ideas about radiation from space. He was so passionate that Jane got sucked into the Wonderful World Of Space.

"Well, Mr. Parker. I can safely say you're not going to turn into a tentacle alien or giant robot. The radiation will make you more susceptible to UV for a while, and might weaken your immune system and lead to fatigue, but that should all clear up in a few months at most."

Dr. Sumdac turned to stare down Jane and Thor. "Make sure your son wears long sleeves and plenty of sunscreen. A good diet and plenty of rest, and he should be fine. Now, Mr. Parker, if you will take your son's spot. I want to make sure you're okay as well. I overheard that you were exposed to the storm too."

"Oh, we're not-" Jane tried to deny the relationship, _revolted_ at the idea of Thor and his cute, bunny face being Pete's father.

"As you command, Physician!" Thor boomed cheerfully, plopping down next to a giggling Pete.

The doctor pulled out his equipment to run his tests, but stopped when the first one let out a shrill beeping sound that had Pete clutching his ears.

"Interesting… Mr. Parker, how long were you out in the storm?"

"Not _in_ the storm, Physician. I came through the Bifrost to this world as a punishment from the Allfather."

Sighing, Dr. Sumdac moved to his next machine, and then the last. "You have an irregularly high concentration of radiation in your body, of an origin that I don't know. Your sinoatrial and atrioventricular nodes show signs of irregularly high voltage. I take it you're not from Earth?"

Pete leaned in and whispered something that sounded like 'midgard'.

Thor nodded his head. "Indeed not! I am Prince Thor of Asgard, heir to the Allfather… Or, at least I _was_."

God. Could this day get _any_ weirder?


End file.
